Saw a friend on facebook post about a writing prompt that I felt crazy compelled to do so I interrupt my daily challenge to do this prompt. Let’s see how this goes…
Write marriage vows to your fear or your vice.
Death. All these years I’ve never liked you. I get why you exist, I get why you happen. I grapple with accepting what you are everyday of my life, to try to find some comfort in you. I know that one day you will come and put my mind at ease, show me that things aren’t so scary with you and after you. I know that you will reunite me with people that I miss, that I love. I do vow to you, death, that I will accept you. That one day I will not be so afraid by you. That you will show me that I’m in a better place with you, as some people say. That the world won’t be dark and we will be able to exist together.
We suffer silently and separately
Seeking each other through pages of information and social interaction
Fear reaching out makes us seem vulnerable and weak
Fear that it makes us seem desperate
Don’t you miss her don’t you miss him?
Dont you want her don’t you want him?
Of course we do but we hide behind these screens afraid to be seen
Afraid to be naked
“I had this dream once, I don’t remember when exactly but um…it was the kind of dream someone never wants to have. Anyway, I had this dream once that I was just going day to day, checking my phone every once in a while, just living…wondering why I hadn’t heard from you. I would always get that tiny twinge of fear in the base of my heart that something has happened to you when I don’t hear from you. But yeah so I don’t know I think a week goes by, you know there’s no real time in a dream…a week goes by and I decide to be like fuck it I’ll go by his house and see if he’s there. And your car is outside and I ring the doorbell. Your brother comes to the door all red and puffy eyed, surprised to see me. So I ask him if you’re home. He was so confused, asked if I was fucking with him and I was like what no where’s your brother I haven’t heard from him in a week. Then he looked crushed. Looked down at his feet and mumbled, he’s gone he died. Then I woke up. I woke up and cried and cried…couldn’t go back to sleep for like an hour because…that’s a real fear of mine. I’m afraid that if something detrimental happened to you that I wouldn’t know…that scares the living shit out of me…”