So Close

Pressed. Silently, we stood in his kitchen, the small of my back pressed against his counter. Arctic Monkeys plays from the living room. He breathes down on me, short breaths hitting the left side of my face. He’s stares down at me indifferently. No expression. No hitches in his breathing. His hands at either side of me, pinkies itching to be touched. He grabs my left hand, fingers weak in his strong grip. Slowly, he nibbles each finger tip, one by one, starting from my pinky, working his way to my thumb. Nerves tremble as he now kisses and sucks each tip, never breaking his stare. My lips separate as he does the deed. I envy my fingers getting such attention from such beautiful lips; oh how I’ve fantasized them on my own. The corner of his mouth twitches into a smirk as he concludes sucking on my thumb. His index is gently placed under my chin, guiding me towards the place I’ve always felt I belonged, pursed and tasted, enjoyed and savored. I lick my lips in anticipation, ready for the softest crash landing. A long time coming journey comes to unexpected stop, millimeters from home. He smiles devishly as he shakes his head no, abandoning me. He steps away gradually as my body internally crumbles of defeat. The tease leaves me shell shocked and achey. “Later.” he says before he slips out the door to join the party outside.

Day 4 of 30 (a day late)

Write about someone who inspires you.

This is kind of tough since a lot of people inspire me but someone who I have always loved and admired was my great great grandmother, who we called “Granny”. It was something about her demeanor and her aura that was just always so cool and so calm. Also she was like the oldest person I knew. She lived to be 103 years old. She was tough even at 103. And I always wanted to know what was the secret to a person being able to live that old. I wanted to live to be a 103 but as long as I was cool and sweet and so put together not only physically but mentally like my Granny. She broke her hip at like 98 or 99 years old and doctors thought she was going to fall into dementia and not make it past 100 years old. When she was on bed rest, she had moments where she was confused, thought she was in her slave days, didn’t recognize some of the family, spoke to dead people and God. I didn’t like seeing her that way and wouldn’t stay in the room when she was going through one of her episodes. I would lie next to her while she was sleeping. I loved and admired that woman so much. It was amazing to see her walking and back to her normal self. She died from a heart attack. Well, she had a heart attack and made it to the hospital and lived long enough for us to drive there. I cried and cried. She was the first person who really meant a lot to me to die and I was a hot ass mess her whole funeral. The crazy/phenomenal part of it all is when the doctors called us in to say our last goodbyes to her, she waved goodbye to us. Then she died. Just like that. Like she knew it was her time. Heartbreaking but also eye opening.

All the women in my family are made of strong foundation, and I think it all started with Granny. I felt in some way that she and I shared the same soul, the same spirit. I lived up underneath her. When she sat in her chair, I sat on the floor next to her and she would pat and rub my head as I rested my head on her legs. Seriously the greatest human to walk this earth and I wish I got to know more of her life while she was still alive.

She will always be someone I admire and love.

Day 3 of 30

What are your top three pet peeves?

  1. People who tell me “I have something to tell you” and then say nevermind and don’t tell me a damn thing. That shit drives me berserk. Don’t fix your mouth to tell me nothing and don’t pussy around it. If you have something to tell me and you have the balls to say that you do, well you better go on and tell me everything
  2. People who don’t use their blinker. Yes seriously. It’s there for a reason you need to fuckin utilize it.
  3. People who talk over people/interrupt them. Which leads to like everyone talking over everyone. Which leads to just loud talking and too much noise. Which ultimately annoys me and makes me wanna go sit somewhere by myself. I suppose that’s my introvert working when that happens.


Ordinary. Things are getting too mundane. Same faces same surroundings how can a anyone deal with the same things? When does the edge come? You know the brink of insanity…

She often had wished for someone to safely reach in and pluck her out of this routine. No need for a hero just a being capable of making her realize, “hey you’re done here,” and go about its way. No thanks necessary.